Mine!

I’m feeling rather territorial and ornery lately. I stomp my little foot at the slightest provocation and declare that everyone back off!! Whatever IT is – IT’S MINE!!!

With my current state of mind today is unfolding particularly poorly. My ire flared up at snarly comments made to me when I called to collect payment for an overdue invoice – it is 114 days overdue!!!! How dare they not pay MY bills?! After a customer made some nasty remarks she asked when she should call me back with payment status; my reply was that she needn’t call back at all, if I hadn’t received her payment by next Friday the account was getting sent to a collections agency. Ouch.

Also, I strongly dislike anyone, individuals or businesses, messing with MY computer network at the office. I’ve been working on getting a new antivirus program in place on our server and desktops. I’m not impressed with the support from the last antivirus provider so I’m switching to a different one. However, I’m beginning to have doubts about the new provider as their first agreement, covering off a three year term, had been set up with incorrect information. The corrected second agreement looked fine, but their Internet links for electronically agreeing to terms and signing the contract weren’t working. After wasting both my time and my computer tech’s time, it was determined that ‘technology had failed us’. Wrong – the antivirus company, with its lousy support, had failed us. Not a very good start to our business relationship.

On a personal level I’m feeling particularly disheartened, succumbing to episodes of ‘blues’ as MY birthday approaches. I’m not terribly upset that I’ll be – deep breath in – thirty nine years old. With my birthday as a self-imposed deadline for trying to get pregnant, I’m having difficulty accepting the fact that I will NOT be pregnant again. I feel like my body has betrayed me. I’m also cringing at the thought that I’ll need to get rid of the baby swing, snugglie, bottle warmer, strollers, co-sleeper, wooden rocking horse, maternity and baby clothes and many other related items, many of which are unused as they were gathered when we were expecting last year.

Plans for MY birthday haven’t gone well either. Usually I like to take things as they come, I don’t rock the boat and I certainly don’t like to impose my own agenda on others. However, this year is different. I’ve just been terribly rude on the phone to a loved one about plans for my birthday. They wanted to get together to celebrate; not knowing of course, that I’ve been making every effort not to celebrate it at all. I would rather just putter in the garden, disappear into a movie, read a book or even lock myself in a room and turn the lights out. Really. It’s my birthday – my birthday is the one day of the year that should be truly MINE. If I don’t want anything done or celebrated that’s my prerogative. Can you hear my foot stamping childishly in the background?

So, in one fell swoop I’ve upset everybody: loved ones, myself, Daryle and I’m fairly certain my tantrum wasn’t well received at the office. HAPPY F-ING BIRTHDAY!!!

Okay, time to settle down. This behaviour is very undignified. After arriving at home, Daryle calmly took in my ranting and raving and then said: “You’ve been wanting to have a visit, why don’t we ask if we can spend Sunday with them?”

Oh.

Yes.

A moment or two to let his idea sink in. That would be lovely. Quick call to ask if that would be alright and of course to apologise for my terrible behaviour and it is done – we’re going up for a visit on Sunday!

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About Christine N

I'm married to Daryle, Mom to two wonderful boys - Daniel and Andy.
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