After discussing my symptoms with Jane at the MS Clinic, they’ve set up an appointment for me for 3:30 on Thursday (tomorrow). I won’t be seeing Dr. Traboulsee this time, I’ll be meeting with Dr. Devonshire. Jane advised that I’ll need a new referral from my GP to see Dr. Devonshire. Sheesh.
The medical system certainly has a lot of bureaucratic hoops for doctors/nurses/patients to jump through, but as I was just at the MS Clinic in July. I wouldn’t have thought that they’d require another referral for an appointment so soon. However, I do my very best to jump through hoops and I’ve already visited my usual doctor at the clinic and he’s assured me that the referral will be processed today.
Now, as to the symptoms: at its worst last night, my left hand and arm felt like they’d been covered in a glove, restricting how much I could feel. My strength had been greatly diminished as well. Normally I would have no problem picking up a pot from the stove, but I had difficulty lifting the pot of scrambled eggs when serving the meal. I needed to rest the pot on the table and tip it over to scoop out the eggs. Also, I was unable to get a strong grip on my small watering jug to water the baskets at the front of the house. These two things seem so minor and I’d love to just dismiss them, but I feel that I would be fooling nobody but myself if I didn’t acknowledge my symptoms.
Emotionally, I’m right on the edge. I feel like I could burst into tears at any given moment. An injured animal – sniff. A child suffering from just about anything – sniff, sniff. The death or terminal illness of other that I don’t even know – bring out the tissues, I’m tearing up. Crikey – I’m a mess. When I take a moment or two to consider my own situation I crumble into a heap.
I thought I’d take a moment to share an image that gives me peace amidst all the stress these days. It’s called the Great Turf by Durer. Lowly weeds and grasses have been rendered beautiful. There’s a sense of grace, balance and depth. The subject hasn’t been treated in a manner to elevate it to another level, it hasn’t been made to look pretty or elegant. It’s just a patch of weeds, and it is perfectly acceptable. I love the diversity of the plants, the sense of movement with the blades of grass. I can almost feel the slight breeze that appears to be playing with the dandelion flower buds which look as they’re about to burst open.
Take a moment in your own day to find something of beauty, something peaceful, something that makes you feel good.