… dragged the comb across my head…
I’m sure you all know the Beatles tune, my apologies if I’ve put it into your head for the rest of the day.
But I digress. Is that how you start your mornings? Just wake up and hop out of bed? Lately, I’ve been taking the time to perform the “thingy”. Mom knows what this means – I believe it’s called the main central vertical with Jin Shin Jyutsu. Why do I do this rather than leap out of bed like I used to?
- It is a lovely, relaxing way to start the day.
- It helps me feel better. I don’t have proof that it works to keep my terrible headaches at bay, but since I’ve been doing this I haven’t had any.
- It is drug free. This is a very good thing in consideration of the abuse my poor liver took when on Rebif.
So, as I lay in bed this morning slowly progressing through thingy, I contemplated today’s agenda. Finish preparing minutes from the Maui meetings, meet with Michele for a quick lunch at Timmy’s, call the support program for Copaxone, get blood work done to see if my liver enzymes are improving… What else? How could I forget? Tonight, aside from laundry and dinner prep, I must sew Daniel’s new badges on his Cubs uniform.
An upside to my particular symptoms with MS is that the tip of my left index finger is usually pretty numb. Doesn’t sound like much of a silver lining, but it truly is when faced with a small stack of badges and the inevitable pin pricks. I think I’ve got four to sew on: 1 year bar, group, area and link badges. I may be forgetting one, but that’s alright, I’ll discover it when I start sewing.
Thingy done, I get up and begin the morning routine. Get lunches ready, gather clothes for the boys, restock the diaper bag, and so on. Throughout the routine I’m also taking an inventory of how I feel. I can’t help it. I don’t want MS to rule my life, but I haven’t reconciled myself with it yet. The monster hasn’t settled in the back of my mind as I’m told it will when I’ve come to grips with it. Letting it go and getting on with my life seems an impossible feat at the moment.
Numb left index fingertip – check.
Vision – good so far.
Left forearm – strange, but fleeting, tingles.
Left hip – sharp, shooting pains that didn’t stick around for long.
Numb toes – what toes? Are they still there? Quick visual check. Yup. Can’t feel them, but thankfully they’re still there.
Headache – thank goodness. No headache again today.
In the shower this morning, for reasons unknown as I’ve never held my hands in this manner before, I held my hands palm upwards with my fingers straight up as though holding two imaginary glasses of water. As the water ran down them I felt the strangest sensation. It’s difficult to explain, but bear with me. It was as though all the nerves throughout my body were on high alert, slightly tingling. If your mind just fell into the gutter, it needs to get back out – this is a family friendly blog. I felt almost weightless, as though I was floating. Odd. Oh well, on with the day, no time to waste contemplating strange floating feelings.
Half an hour later after getting dressed and getting the boys settled in at daycare I returned to the van. Rather than feeling gloomy in preparation for my commute to work in the pouring rain, I found myself smiling. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I caught myself just smiling. Feeling good. Maybe, just maybe the beast isn’t sitting directly on my shoulders any more. The removal of the beast’s weight, while it may be only temporary, is perhaps causing me to feel weightless.