Expressions of Joy

Feel like dancing? C’mon, let loose. Let the music inspire you!

I’m feeling so good these days (plural – can you believe it!!!!!!). I can hardly sit still. Yesterday I felt so good that I actually tortured my family by dancing in the kitchen while making dinner. With the blinds open! <shocking> I couldn’t resist moving along with my new playlist. Moving rapidly became “dancing”.

At first I felt very awkward and my movements were uncoordinated. What an understatement – uncoordinated! Then, as I became more comfortable and relaxed, the reflection on the fridge door of my feet and legs began to transform into something that resembled dancing. Odd dancing perhaps, but dancing nonetheless. Almost.

As momentum built, I kicked off my slippers, removed my blanket (aka: sweater) and my feet began moving more easily. More than just my feet felt liberated – my arms and hands were more expressive. About half an hour into the display of my… ummm rockin’ moves, Daniel actually commented “Mom, you’re a good dancer”.

“Gee, thanks.” <laughing>

Months ago, a nurse told me that it would take a full year to come to terms with my new reality. At the time I honestly thought that I had reconciled myself with MS, in relation to both my present and future. I had everything under control. I have MS. What’s there to deal with? Just get on with life. Suck it up Buttercup. It hasn’t been that simple though. While my diagnosis certainly hasn’t changed and my symptoms will never fully go away, I have changed. Really, I have. I am comfortable in my own skin. I love myself again. Corny, but true. I feel like I’ve metamorphosed into someone completely different.

I had been looking at MS as though having it involved great loss and personal sacrifice. Loss of freedom, independence, financial stability, physical movement, happiness, joy… As my MS anniversary approaches, I’m beginning to recognise and value the “mores”. More compassion, focus, appreciation of what “is”, acceptance of life, tolerance, meaningful relationships, freedom in expressing my individuality, contentment and feeling grounded. All good things, right?

So, don’t laugh if you see me dancing for the simple joy of it. Trust me, it won’t look like I’m dancing for any other reason than for the fun of it! Come over and dance with me. It feels so good to let go. To quote Dr. Seuss “Those that mind, don’t matter and those that matter, don’t mind.”

Here’s my latest playlist in case you’re interested:

The Void by Metric
Delight (feat. Octavia Rose) by Jamie Berry
Up in the Clouds (Mr Flash Mix) by Darwin Deez
Madness by Muse
Lickety Split by Jamie Berry
Bangarang by Skrillex
Carry On by Fun.
Home by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
Marvellous by Jamie Berry
We are Young (feat. Janelle Monae) by Fun.
Extraordinaire by Joel Plaskett
One Foot by Fun.
Out of My Mind by Jamie Berry

So, while my Copaxone shots are still painful, my left hand control and vision aren’t what they once were, I can still dance, sing and enjoy myself. Whatever you do, don’t feel badly for me. I’ve moved on. I’ve shed my ill-fitting-tweed-coat past and have moved on to my sleek-new-leather-jacket future.

About Christine N

I'm married to Daryle, Mom to two wonderful boys - Daniel and Andy.
This entry was posted in everyday musings, ms and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Expressions of Joy

  1. Bubbles says:

    That's wonderful, Chris. I am so happy for you. Keep it up. ❤ 🙂

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