Life at the moment feels like I’m bobbing along on little raft on a stormy sea. As the waves crash into or over me my makeshift raft holds me steady. Somehow, in the middle of this hurricane, I’m not sinking, but my raft needs a little maintenance – some of the ropes holding it together are unraveling a little.
The storm consists of many things – it is at full-force gale strength due to my mum-in-law’s recent illness. She’s at home now, but still requires a lot of support. Thankfully, she received medical help just in time and she’s now on the mend. She has, and continues to endure, a barrage of tests and is now at the stage of assessing she’s at and determining how to proceed with treatment.
Some strong contributing winds have also arisen as others’ marriages have been going through major turmoil. One marriage has weathered a major storm, more like a tsunami, and become stronger, able to take on whatever is on the horizon. Sadly, another marriage that appeared to be unsinkable has shockingly fallen apart and slipped beneath the waves.
From the relative safety of my little raft, it is so difficult to watch friends and family struggle through personal crises: losses of loved ones, unsuccessful surgeries, financial woes, vehicle accidents and diminishing health. Not unscathed from the effects of the storm, I’ve noticed that my little raft has developed a few tears in its lashings. Nothing that will sink it, but I need to deal with a few things to keep it seaworthy:
- keep working on managing my MS and stress levels
- continue focusing on my marriage
- researching and implementing ways to support my boys
- repairing my physical health
That first lashing on my list requires constant attention. My MS continues to be…
Be what? Irksome? Troublesome? Manageable.
Generally speaking, I’m able to function somewhat normally, but it has been a tough month. I’ve struggled through leaden legs (requiring a tune-up for my cane as my knees have started giving out when I’ve been sitting for a while – like going somewhere in the van or watching a writers’ festival event), intestinal issues (relating to a recent modification to my medication regime), blurred vision (from the heat) and bouts of rather debilitating lethargy (probably heat related as well). But I’m thankful for where I’m at with my MS as there are many, many others dealing with far worse symptoms. Despite this intensely stressful summer I’ve been making a concerted effort to keep my stress levels down. I’ve been trying to listen to the physical cues my body gives me and deal swiftly and directly with issues as they arise and try to let go of those that I have no control over. Things that at one time would have fired me up just don’t anymore. I’m calm and relaxed, more at peace with the world.
I won’t get into the details of what needs to be done with the other three items on my raft-mending list. In summary they require a date night (always accompanied by a wonderfully honest long talk), reading books and setting up doctors’ and counselors’ appointments and planning an exercise routine.
Beyond the repairs, my little raft will soon be strengthened by the addition of my Urb-E. I continue to anticipate that the arrival of my Urb-E will ease my commuting stress. While the commutes to work continue to be fraught with traffic woes, I endure them with the bittersweet knowledge that soon I’ll be tootling past all of it. Optimistically, I expect that my Urb-E will arrive before the end of the month, as indicated in several production updates. Fingers crossed.
Are you in the middle of a storm or are you experiencing some lovely, smooth sailing? How is your raft, or luxury yacht, holding up? Are your skies brightening in the distance?